I am happy to report that I had a nice weekend and have recovered some of my positive outlook. Man, what a week!
I had an interesting little fashion problem this weekend that I must share.
The b/f and I were out and about on Sunday. We were planning on going for a hike and generally getting dirty so I wore a workout tank top and my "dirty" jeans. Since we went shopping two weeks ago and I bought a new pair of jeans, my "comfy" jeans have been relegated to "dirty" jeans. The new jeans are now "casual Friday" jeans and the old "casual Friday" jeans are now "comfy jeans". Yes, there is a whole hierarchy to my dresser drawers. It's like a little fashion caste system of my very own.
Anyway, the tank top was one of those T-back numbers with the bra built in. This is a good thing since, as we all know, you can't wear a regular bra with a T-back shirt. It's just not pretty. Bra straps everywhere! So I'm all ready to go hiking and get good and dirty and we somehow end up at the Northridge mall! Damn it! I'm not prepared for this. I look like a schlump. To make matters worse, I discover that the tank top is mostly Lycra and some kind of poly blend so the stupid thing actually holds in my body heat. Blech! I was hot and sweaty and generally uncomfortable, even in the air-conditioned stores. I take this as further proof that Northridge is built directly above a portal to Hell. But, I digress...My b/f suggests that I dash into JC Penny's (one of my fav shopping sites) and buy a little cotton shirt that breathes better so I will be more comfortable (thus more pleasant to be around). Sounds like a good idea right? It's great except for the little matter of my not having a bra on! I can't run around in a cotton t-shirt or tank top without support. It would be bad. It would be indecent. It would be....just....just...wrong!
(sigh) But I'm really sweaty and feeling gross.
What to do?
I finally decided that comfort trumps modesty and marched into that department store. They were having a great sale on juniors Ts and tanks. I found a Happy Bunny t-shirt that I liked but it was white and I was not feeling quite that daring. My nipples cast shadows as it is. I wasn't ready to have naught but a thin layer of white cotton between them and the world. I ended up with a dark gray, ribbed tank top with a flowery, artsy design up the side. Originally $16.00 now ONLY $7.99! Oh yes. I bought it. I exited the store with my purchase in hand, ready to shed the offending garment and change into something a little more comfortable. I headed to the nearest ladies room, which turned out to be in the far corner of the food court. Please keep in mind that this was a Sunday afternoon and the mall was bloody crowded. Wall to wall teenagers, tired parents, old people and snotty girls who travel in packs and sneer at you 'cause you aren't as cool as they are. Oh, the joy.
After I had changed, I had to walk across the entire food court sans brassiere to meet up with the b/f where I had left him comfortably ensconced in the cushy chair outside Penny's. It was a really. long. walk. What to do? Should I just walk across like there's nothing amiss in my appearance? Should I try folding my arms over my chest as I cross, or will that just draw more attention? I felt like I wasn't even wearing a top. I felt so exposed! I don't think I'm overly curvy up top, but I am definitely a girl who should, well...wear a bra. These are not cute little perky boobs that can be left to roam free. Mine are not free-range boobies.
Then it occurred to me, these were not even MY opinions. What the hell was I afraid of here? What, the snotty seventeen-year-olds are going to think I'm a slut 'cause I don't have a bra on? Am I seriously still afraid of what teenage girls think of me? (Hey, some things are tough to let go of.) Was I afraid of being approached by some skeevy guy due to my outward appearance of promiscuity? I lived in NYC for seven years. I should be able to handle anyone who comes up to me. And how come a girl without a bra on is automatically a slut? What's that all about?
I walked across that stupid food court with confidence and a bounce in my step. That's right, a bounce. Ha! Really, it was quite freeing. I did feel more secure with my b/f along side for the rest of the afternoon, though I did venture out on my own a few times, too. I think I would have felt just as secure with a girlfriend. It was more about having a friendly person with me and my breasts then having a guy to "protect" me. If I can strut across the mall food court alone and bra-less, I can certainly sift through the sale rack at Wet Seal all alone. It's just nice to know you've got someone to back you up.
The moral of the story: Don't be afraid to go au natural if you want from time to time. You might just find out you're more daring than you ever knew. Maybe there is something to the old 'bra burning" idea.