Sunday, June 11, 2006

The Truth Comes Out.

I have a confession to make.

I like yarn. I like the pretty colors. I like the different textures. I go simply weak in the knees when I pick up a skein of soft merino wool at my local yarn shop. Visions of nifty knit items fall over themselves for attention in my head. I could spend a truly offensive amount of money on hand dyed wool and wooden knitting kneedles.

I spend lots and lots of time online looking up knitting patterns and knitting advice. How exactly do I "purl two together knitwise?", how do I accomplish the perfect "intarsia pattern" without leaving little tails of yarn all over my work? These questions, and others like them, plague me. One of my favorite places to find these answers is I highly recommend browsing through there if you have a spare day or two. Seriously, it's a slippery slope. Be careful. :)

The really cool thing about being a happy little feminist and a slightly angsty knitter is that I am not alone. You may have noticed that in recent years, knitting is popular again. And not just with your grandma, but with the gurrrls knitting on the subway and the ladies clicking and clacking away at the coffee shop. It's downright cool to be a crafty woman. We are reclaiming such "womanly arts" and updating them for today. Guys are even getting into the act as well, which is very cool.

I have opined in previous entries on this blog that I wish I had something to throw at my television when stupid things invade my living room via the "idiot box". Everytime that heinous Carl's Junior ad with that vapid plastic surgeon and the chicken comes on, I can't find the mute button fast enough. Oh, what could I possibly have in my hand that would be safe to chuck at my television screen yet not leave me feeling as though I am railing at the world with tiny little ineffectual fists? I stumbled across the answer a few weeks ago and am proud to announce that I have finally knit something not only useful but darn fun.

Um, I may have mentioned that I have a rather twisted sense of humor.

I give you...."Hand Grenade in Green Yarn."

The pattern and article from The Guardian can be found here.

Yes, the little grey and gold item in the second pic is a knitted bullet (of my own design). I've been thinking I could knit them in sets of six and toss them in handfuls at offending commercials and whatnot.

I know I need therapy. Until I can afford it I'm going to continue to knit and laugh and laugh and laugh.


Thorny said...


Marz said...

I'm still waiting for you to knit the Uzi for those bullets. Come on, you know you wanna....

I personally cannot get into the knitting, all that counting and stuff, I just don't have the patience. But the sewing thing, that I love. You've seen my closet with all my bins of fabric. I shouldn't buy any more fabric until I use at least two of the bins but I don't think that's going to happen.

Painter Beach Girl said...

that is very funny...let's see you knit a cannon!

The Lone Beader said...

That's cool! Very Rage-Against-the-Machine. LOL!!